The moment life asked me to choose myself

There are crossroads we don’t see coming.
Moments that arrive quietly, without warning, and yet they alter the entire direction of our lives.
They don’t look dramatic from the outside no thunder, no collapse, no cinematic cue but within us, something shifts so deeply that the world can never be the same again.

Years ago, I found myself standing in front of such a moment.
Not a crisis, not a tragedy just a truth so undeniable that it pressed against my chest until I finally paid attention.

It was the moment life whispered:
“Choose yourself.”

At first, I didn’t understand what that meant.
I thought choosing myself would look selfish, disruptive, or somehow wrong.
I had spent years prioritising stability, harmony, responsibility doing what was expected, being what others needed, keeping the equilibrium intact.
Choosing myself felt like breaking a rule I didn’t remember agreeing to.

But life has a way of insisting.

A quiet but unmistakable crossroad

The moment didn’t come with an answer.
It arrived as a question.

Are you willing to remain who you’ve been
when every part of you is asking to become more?

The question unsettled me.
It illuminated parts of my life I hadn’t examined in years.
It revealed the gap between who I was and who I was becoming a gentle but undeniable truth I could no longer ignore.

This wasn’t about abandoning anything or anyone.
It was about no longer abandoning myself.

So I allowed the question in.
I sat with the discomfort, the uncertainty, the grief that comes with growth.
And slowly, I began making choices that were aligned not with expectation, but with truth.
With my truth.

I didn’t know it then, but that moment would become a turning point.
A quiet beginning of a life lived with intention, with clarity, with more presence and less fear.

What choosing yourself really means

Choosing yourself isn’t about defiance.
It isn’t rebellion.
It isn’t selfishness.

It is the act of listening deeply to the part of you that knows what is right, even when your mind is full of doubt.

It can look like:
• setting a boundary you’ve avoided for years
• stepping toward a dream that terrifies you
• ending something that has been hurting you quietly
• beginning something you don’t yet feel ready for
• allowing yourself to be seen without the armour
• letting go of a version of yourself that once kept you safe

Choosing yourself is rarely loud.
It is tender, raw, vulnerable… and immensely powerful.

And it often marks the beginning of personal transformation.

Why I’m sharing this?

What I want to offer here is the texture of that moment.
Because I see the same crossroads in so many of the clients I work with in Utrecht, Amersfoort, Amsterdam, The Hague, and online across the Netherlands.

People who feel something in their life shifting but haven’t yet found the words for it.

People who are standing in front of a truth they’re afraid to acknowledge.

People who sense that staying the same is costing them more than changing would.

You are not alone in this.

Transformation doesn’t begin with action.
It begins with awareness.
With the quiet realisation that something inside you is ready to grow.

The pattern beneath this story

At its core, this is a story about agency the ability to make choices that honour who you are becoming, rather than who you’ve been taught to be.

Themes that often appear around this pattern include:
• self-abandonment
• guilt around prioritising yourself
• fear of disappointing others
• difficulty trusting your inner voice
• staying small to maintain stability
• feeling “stuck” between two versions of yourself

These patterns are not weaknesses.
They are invitations.

Every time you choose yourself even in the smallest way you rewrite the narrative of your life.

If this resonates with your own turning point

This is the kind of deep, compassionate work I support through individual coaching and relationship-focused sessions.

Together, we create space to:

• clarify what your inner truth is asking for

• untangle the emotions around self-abandonment

• navigate transitions with grounded support

• build confidence in your decisions

• make aligned changes without fear

Whether you’re in the Netherlands or joining online, you’re welcome here.

👉 Discover Relationship-focused sessions or

Choosing yourself is not the end of your story.
It’s where your story finally begins.